Silence

I did think that leaving a large empty space here would be appropriate. 

Silence in print. 

There is a lot of noise in my world - both auditory and visual. I suspect the same is true for many others. The definition of noise, like the definition of stress, is subjective. I sit on a train, a man is having a loud conversation with someone at the other end of his mobile connection. As far as I am concerned this conversation is noise, his perception may differ. Or, perhaps he is just pretending to have a conversation on his loud mobile to appear important in the eyes of his fellow travellers. I really can’t tell, I don't really care, it's just noise.

But this is just the beginning. Google, Apple, Samsung and their ilk would like us to use speech input rather than keyboards. ‘Hello Google …. NO!!!!!’ For goodness sakes, the last thing I need is to hear is everyones’ searches, Facebook and WhatsApp messages spoken rather than typed.  Imagine an open plan office with every office worker dictating their thoughts into their word documents. Dante’s 10th circle of Hell! When we get to direct brain input ‘Think to type’ then perhaps we’ll have arrived with a usable ‘alternative’ input modality. If noise is positively correlated with stress, and stress is linked to obesity, which in turn is linked to a premature demise then really, I should be jumping ship into the undertaking business and selling plus sized coffins.

How do I get silence? Death? Pretty final, and rather more drastic than I had in mind. Noise cancelling headphones and a blindfold enshrouding my head ? Almost gets the job done, but would impair my ability to function in any meaningful way. Perhaps the way forward is retaliation. More of the same! Useless and loud phone calls ….. that could be me. Painfully bad taste ties, loud shirts and tartan trousers - I can do that. Tinny music spilling out of cheap earphones …. no problem. Spawning acres of meaningless verbiage ……… oh..... hang on …… MUHAHAHaHaha!